Think you're just a regular parent who happens to have a kid who swims? Think again! Here are the telltale signs that you've officially crossed over to the dark side... welcome to the swimming parent club! 🏊
1. Your Car Permanently Smells Like Chlorine
No amount of air fresheners can mask that distinctive "eau de pool" that's now your signature scent. Your non-swimming friends notice it immediately, but you? You've gone nose-blind months ago.
2. You Know Every Pool Deck in a 50km Radius
"Oh, this one has the good canteen." "That one has terrible parking." "This pool deck gets slippery when wet." You're basically a swimming venue critic now.
3. You Can Spot Your Kid From 100 Meters Away
Forget face recognition - you can identify your swimmer by their stroke technique, their kick pattern, or the way they adjust their goggles. It's like a superpower, but more specific.
4. Your Phone Gallery is 90% Pool Photos
Sunset shots? Nah. Food pics? Please. Your camera roll is just endless photos of your kid mid-stroke, plus approximately 847 blurry action shots you swear are "artistic."
5. You've Mastered the Art of the Poolside Picnic
Thermos of coffee? Check. Snacks that won't melt in the sun? Check. Folding chair that's seen more pool decks than most lifeguards? Double check.
6. You Know the Difference Between a 50 Free and a 50 Fly
And you have OPINIONS about which one your kid should focus on. You also know that "IM" doesn't stand for iMessage.
7. You've Become a Human Stopwatch
"That felt like a PB!" you shout, despite having no actual timing equipment. But somehow, you're usually right. It's like you've developed an internal pace clock.
8. Your Laundry Basket is Always Full of Damp Towels
No matter how many times you tell them to hang it up properly, there's always at least three soggy towels lurking somewhere in your house... you just hope it is not on the carpet...
9. You Know Every Swimming Parent's Life Story
Four hours of poolside waiting creates deep friendships. You know whose kid is going to trials, whose marriage is rocky, and who makes the best baked treats for fundraising.
10. Seasons Are Now Long Course and Short Course
Forget summer and winter - your year is divided into "long course season" and "short course season." You know exactly what pool length your kid swims better in, and you have strong feelings about which season is the better one.
11. Your Weekend Plans Revolve Around Swimming Carnivals
"Sorry, can't make brunch - we've got States this weekend." Your social calendar is now dictated by swimming schedules you didn't even know existed two years ago.
12. You Know the Canteen Menu by Heart
"They do good coffee here, but avoid the pies." "This place has the best sausage rolls." You're basically a food critic for swimming venue canteens.
13. You've Perfected the "Encouraging Parent" Wave
That specific wave-and-thumbs-up combo that says "I'm proud of you" while also saying "please don't false start." It's an art form.
14. You Can Pack a Swimming Bag in Under 30 Seconds
Goggles, cap, towel, water bottle, snacks, backup goggles, backup cap, sunscreen, and that lucky charm they insist on bringing. You're like a swimming bag ninja.
15. You Actually Enjoy 6am Pool Sessions
Remember when you thought 6am was an ungodly hour? Now you're up, caffeinated, and ready to cheer by the time most people are hitting snooze for the third time.
And let's be honest - 6am is practically a sleep-in! Most Australian swimming clubs have you poolside by 5am or 5:30am, so when a new parent complains about a 6am start, you just laugh and think "amateurs!" ☕
Bonus Sign: You're reading this blog post nodding along thinking "yep, that's me" to literally every single point! 😂
If you ticked off more than 10 of these, congratulations - you're officially a swimming parent! There's no cure, but honestly, would you want one? Those early morning pool sessions and endless carnivals have given you some of the best memories (and friendships) of your life.
Welcome to the club - the water's lovely! 🏊
